I am really bad at this whole blogging thing! But its weird because I have a lot of stuff in my head and things I want to write about, it just doesn't make it from my mind to my finger tips. Nonetheless....
I feel like my life is in a weird phase right now... I typically love school, learning, knowledge, and my school/research environment, but lately I have felt nothing more towards all of that except that I am OVER IT! I am so ready to move on and not be an undergrad anymore. I feel like everyone around me has taken "big kid steps" and I am standing still, like my feet are stuck in quick sand. I knew this fifth year was going to be rough and things were really going to be different than previous years, but well, I guess i didn't expect it to be like this.
I feel like i have lots most of my friends- my friends that are in grad school are in their own "fourth floor/clinic" bubble, which is fine, I knew this would happen but the worst part is, they don't seem to feel the difference. Which is good for them and in some ways expected, but I feel like because they don't feel the different they do not understand that I feel left out or the oddball who can't relate, but they expect me to be there and be involved- in the things they decide to invite me in- like we all use to. I don't know, its complicated and hard and well, different. Sometimes it really bothers me and other times I guess I just don't care. Either way, its sad. I miss my other girls that moved away too. but most of all I miss my best friend JS.
I know I sound like a whiny baby, and maybe I am too sensitive about it all, but hey thats how I am feeling right now.
Beyond that, I am just so over school. I don't even want to be on campus and try to spend as much time not on campus or in the SLHS building as possible. I don't want to study or anything school related. The only thing I kinda want to do is my lit review, yetI just can't bring myself to actually doing it. This is a huge, Huge, HUGE problem.
Honestly, the only things I want to do is workout! working out just seriously makes me so happy! Whether I am at the gym- which is my fave- or at home, or out for a run, or at spinning or anything physical I am happy! I guess this isn't such a bad thing :) I am just hoping all of this pays off and I see results- beyond just being happy!
Grateful: I am grateful the ability to move and be physical, to have strength, endurance, and tenacity.
I feel like my life is in a weird phase right now... I typically love school, learning, knowledge, and my school/research environment, but lately I have felt nothing more towards all of that except that I am OVER IT! I am so ready to move on and not be an undergrad anymore. I feel like everyone around me has taken "big kid steps" and I am standing still, like my feet are stuck in quick sand. I knew this fifth year was going to be rough and things were really going to be different than previous years, but well, I guess i didn't expect it to be like this.
I feel like i have lots most of my friends- my friends that are in grad school are in their own "fourth floor/clinic" bubble, which is fine, I knew this would happen but the worst part is, they don't seem to feel the difference. Which is good for them and in some ways expected, but I feel like because they don't feel the different they do not understand that I feel left out or the oddball who can't relate, but they expect me to be there and be involved- in the things they decide to invite me in- like we all use to. I don't know, its complicated and hard and well, different. Sometimes it really bothers me and other times I guess I just don't care. Either way, its sad. I miss my other girls that moved away too. but most of all I miss my best friend JS.
I know I sound like a whiny baby, and maybe I am too sensitive about it all, but hey thats how I am feeling right now.
Beyond that, I am just so over school. I don't even want to be on campus and try to spend as much time not on campus or in the SLHS building as possible. I don't want to study or anything school related. The only thing I kinda want to do is my lit review, yetI just can't bring myself to actually doing it. This is a huge, Huge, HUGE problem.
Honestly, the only things I want to do is workout! working out just seriously makes me so happy! Whether I am at the gym- which is my fave- or at home, or out for a run, or at spinning or anything physical I am happy! I guess this isn't such a bad thing :) I am just hoping all of this pays off and I see results- beyond just being happy!
Grateful: I am grateful the ability to move and be physical, to have strength, endurance, and tenacity.
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